Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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