so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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