Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
