So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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