I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize