I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
