hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
