you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I didn't notice because vodka
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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