ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
