Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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