If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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