remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
