So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize