I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
