Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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