life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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