I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
