She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
