Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
