How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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