you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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