I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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