ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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