He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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