so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
