I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
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