When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i think my mom watched the whole time
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
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That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
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Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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