I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize