So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
