i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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