no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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