I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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