1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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