what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
