that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
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If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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