You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
