i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
