i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
