Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
