Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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