the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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