i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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