she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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