I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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