she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
