you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
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Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
BRING THE BAGELS
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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