Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
