We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
