We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Randomize
