I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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