I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
