If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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