Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
