Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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