idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
