I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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