just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
